Joy in Brokenness

Originally a "From the Field" in Preaching Coach's April Newsletter

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Psalm 119:71: “It is good for me that I have been afflicted,
That I may learn Your statutes.”

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On October 22nd, I was voted in as the Senior Pastor of a small church in Arkansas. This would be my first pastorate. Out of advice from wiser men, I asked the pastoral search committee to let me focus on finishing my Master of Divinity before starting, and they agreed to have my first official Sunday be on January 7th. Although I had to wait, I still wanted to get a head start for when I got there, so I began to get everything ready. In my excitement, I wrote out an entire year-long preaching calendar in two days. I put an offer on a house, and I started moving things into my office. I attended some deacons’ meetings and met with key people in the church. The deacons seemed to be on board with the vision for the church. I was ready to plant my life in this little town. Everything seemed to be moving smoothly for me to have a running start into my first pastorate. Until it wasn’t.

A day before my graduation, and a month before I officially started as the Senior Pastor, I received a call from the chair of the deacons telling me that the deacons had held an impromptu meeting and voted to remove their support from me without reason. I almost threw up when I got the call. The deacons had turned against me before I even started. My situation went from an orderly plan to chaos, leaving me in the dark with no clue where I was going or what I would do next. I was left broken. Romans 8:28, a verse I love, became very hard to believe.

Certainly, there have been unexpected good things that have happened since. I’ve been given opportunities to work with Preaching Coach, Text-Driven Ministries, Date the Word, and the Conservative Baptist Network. I’ve been blessed with encouragement from faithful men around the country. These things are good, and I’m thankful for them, but I’m not sure that’s what the Lord has worked out for ultimate good in my life. I’ve pondered what good may come out of this painful event, and I’ve come to two conclusions. The first conclusion is that the joy of Romans 8:28 is not for those who have experienced the good outcome, but for those who are waiting for the good to come. The promises of the Lord are sure and I can live with joy knowing that God will make good out of this, even if I have to wait a lifetime to see it. The second comes from a quote in “A Tale of Three Kings.” Gene Edwards writes, “God did not have, but wanted very much to have, men who would live in pain. God wanted a broken vessel.” I may not want it to be, but the good I’m waiting for may very well be my brokenness.

So, if my story can encourage you at all, it would be this: First, don’t wait for everything to work together for good to have joy in the Lord. Second, your brokenness may very well be the good the Lord has worked out for you.